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Robotic 'enterprisey' customer support is not the worst kind

by Max Al Farakh · Jun 4 2015

We've talked a lot about how you should talk to customers – the whole "be a human, not a robot" thing. This is still an issue in many companies. When I get responses to some of my support inquiries, I often wonder if a human being is even capable of writing such dry, "corporate" emails. But lately, a new, completely opposite, trend has been emerging.

Many companies now have "happiness heroes" or "champions" instead of customer support agents. And those people seem really happy about getting my emails.

Overly enthusiastic customer happiness champions

Many replies to my support tickets sound something like this (at least in my head):

Oh my god, thank you so much for writing this email!!!1 This is the best thing that happened to me this week and you are my favorite person in the whole world!. I think I will make a tattoo with your name on my forehead. Oh, here is the answer to your question...

Of course, I'm exaggerating, but it's not far from truth. The problem with being overly enthusiastic about support emails is that I don't believe you one bit. You are not happy about my email – I just gave you more work to do. I also know that 100s of people got the same "I'm so happy" canned response today alone.

I am aware that there are people who enjoy getting their asses kissed, but I refuse to accept this as the default behavior. I'm not enjoying this at all, and I feel like I'm being treated like an idiot. Please cut the bullshit and just answer my damn question.

How to make customers love you back

In the pursuit of customer's love, it's easy to take things too far. I honestly don't know what's worse – corporate speak or a happy-for-no-reason person. You know what makes customers love your company? Getting their problems solved.

You get bonus points if you're awesome in the process. Be nice, friendly, efficient and value other people's time. Above all, just be a normal human being. There is a line between an awesome, helpful person and a try-hard creep – you don't want to cross it.